Woud you ever cut your child's other parent out of their life?

[Topanga]

I think you are on the right track, Kate. He is a nut-job and will not change.

My only other advice is try to record some of the crazy messages and conversations or try to have discussions over e-mail. Just in case.

[GooseBeanz]

I agree with everybody else. I would deny access in my child's best interest.

[crochetcrazy]

Document, document, document. Can you maybe arrange supervised access? Where someone like a social worker is present and the visits take place in a 'safe' place? Then if dad shows some responsiblity you can move on from there. That way Owen has access, but is also protected, as are you.

Blessings to you! And kudos for trying to protect your son both physically and emotionally, even though it means you take the brunt. You're a great mommy!

[katydid317]

I do the "don't offer, don't refuse" tactic in terms of Owen calling his dad. He doesn't ask much, but sometimes. I've also told his dad in the past that I would prefer doing pikc-ups/drop-offs through Merrymount so we don't have to have contact with each other. But both parents have to do intake for it, and it's inconvenient for him as he doesn't drive and would rather have Owen dropped off at his house, so he refuses. How's that for an answer? I guess it's not that hard a choice to make, since he pushes himself out of Owen's life well enough on his own.

[Captain Smartypants]

Originally Posted by crochetcrazy

You're a great mommy!

I agree with this 100%!

[SaraKW]

i'm going to assume that you have talked to owen about how his visits with his dad make him feel? If he is not happy, and they seem to be doing more emotional harm than good, I would definately go through with your plan to see what your legal standing would be on all of this.

I like what you said about not cutting him off completely, but having the custody rights changed to say "at your discretion". That way if Owen did want to see his dad (and Dad was actually around) you wouldn't be the bad guy saying no to your son.

I'm with a PP that said in general it's not good to refuse access to a parent...but in this case your son just doesn't seem happy about seeing that parent. And as long as you don't turning it into a smear compaign, it might be what's best.

Good luck with whatever course of action you decide to take. I can see that you are already putting a lot of thought into this, and it's not a spur of the moment decision...Your being a good mom by putting Owens needs first.

[rain_31]

Does the dad live in London? As far as the way he treats you, you can get away from that for now, if he lives in your city by finding out about supervised access cetners. Right now me and my ex bf exxchange our son through the access center, therefore we never have to deal with each other, all notes are photocopied, it has been wonderful for me, huge stress releiver. It costs both parties around $5- $10 per exchange.

I would get legal help for sure and advice. Your FLIC appointment is a great way to start. Ask them anout spervised access center. The do visits and exchanges, which ever you need. We only need it for exchanges